How Heavy A Heart
by I-Am-Your-Kobun
Summary: AU: John's mistaken for a girl at first, but after the haircut he got with money from Dave, not to mention Dave's persistence, will the relationship they formed so easily fall apart, all because of the one thing thing keeping John from reaching out?
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, yeah. The first 4 *paragraphs* have to do with the girl thing. It seems so short, I'm just here like, "Fuck, it 3 pages long in word..." but, hopefully how good it is, makes up for the lack of length. More chapters to come. Working on 2 right now.**

**I actually posted this idea on tumblr for anyone else who wanted to try to write it, but it was my plan from the start to write it. And thusly why it exists on here now. **

There was this girl. She was really pretty. You can remember quite clearly. Actually…no. The word pretty doesn't even scratch the surface. She was…she was fucking beautiful! More than that…she was astounding! Drop dead gorgeous! Sexy, no. That was undermining, and more than usual ended in guys getting called "douche bags" or "pricks", not to mention it in no way applied to her. She wasn't curvy, and she didn't seem so from the front either and in all honesty, that didn't even matter to you. It was the smile, and warm look in her eyes that grabbed your attention. The teeth, though buck, made the most adorable smile ever, and her eyes were a fetching blue, ones only comparing to the deepest parts of the ocean. She would be quite the "catch", in some stupid, ironic fish pun.

Her thick rimmed glasses made her eyes pop, and they did so quite nicely compared to her dark brown hair, that of which fell in her face. As she, irritated, pushed it from her eyes, she caught yours. Thankfully, your shades were there to hide the awe that must have been there to sell you out. Of course, your mouth showed no signs of wanting to smirk or smile. Especially not smile. You did however, walk over to her, not scared in the slightest. You were quite a hit with the ladies after all. What girl could resist a ultra cool, sex god of a Strider like you?

Not that you'd ever done that kind of thing. You may be 15, but you knew where lines were at, and which ones you shouldn't cross. That and your bro would probably kick your ass if you had done anything. He probably didn't want you kissing girls either, but now all you can do is shrug. Too late for that. And as if he didn't kick your ass enough as it was.

You remember walking up to her, and she smiled quite big. Until you said the words "You know, you've got to be one of the most beautiful girls on campus, and I'm sure you have the personality to match." In which her expression became sour. "Not again dammit! I fucking told him I needed a haircut, and now I have another boy hitting on me!" she threw her arms into the air, and this is where you began questioning the title, and suspicions confirmed when she concluded "I'm a boy. But thanks for the compliment I guess. If you even still mean it…it's kind of weird now…that you know I'm not what you thought."

He pushed more hair behind his ear, the smile replaced with an awkward look. "Of course I still mean it. You're even going to make a hot slash beautiful boy when you get it cut too. You don't just take something like that back. It's not cool." You push your glasses up as of to say "And I know about cool." In return, he laughed a little, and yep…still goddamn adorable.

As you reached into your pocket he watched curiously "So, what's your name?" His attention went back to your eyes, which due to where he was looking, you knew he couldn't see. Must be a habit for him to look people in the eyes. "Oh, John. John Egbert." Your hand retracts from your pocket grasping something "Dave Strider."

Taking one hand in your own, you push a ten into his hand. Immediately he freaked out "Wha- But I'm not a homosexual, what are you doing?!" He looked down at it as your hands slid into your pockets for posture. "Dude, I really can't take this…" You turn around and put his arm up in a form of goodbye.

"Hey come back! You can't just gi-" Turning back ever so slightly, you push your pointer finger to your lips and shush him. Then continue to walk to your next class. Standing there in shock, he shoved it in his pocket and stomped off into the other direction. Pushing through the classroom door, you see you're *fashionably* late. Nothing new. You had your own little reputation to uphold, and without meeting John, who knows what you would have done to be late.

It was stupid really. One day. One fucking day and not even 24 hours, that you found yourself having Egbert withdrawals. Lunch was glorious. Him smiling, still mad at you, asking you what the hell the 10 bucks had been for "For a haircut. You said you needed one. He, what I'm guessing is your dad, didn't give you any, any being money of course, so I did." He rolled his eyes and took another bite of his food. "Thanks then…"

You could see he was taking it as an awkward thing. "But you do have pretty hai-" He held up a hand "No. Just, don't say that kind of jazz. I already told you. No homo, and that I'm a boy, stop complimenting me. I don't even know why I'm considering you a friend to be honest." Fuck man. He needed to stop all this adorable shit, or else there was no doubt what was going to happen. That is…if it hadn't already. Though the blow was kind of hard to look through.

Now you're at home, laying all the couch and your bro's poking you with a long stick. "Dave. Hey Dave. David. Dave. David. You're laying on my fucking Doritos get up. Dave. Dave. David Motherfucking Strider, get your ass off my chips dammit." He poked you again particularly hard and you just rolled over, leaving the chips exposed and he grabbed them, leaving you alone to once again wallow in your euphoria. How do you seduce a boy? Or maybe that wasn't the word…get him to like you…no matter how many times he said he's not a homosexual. Somehow he had to like you back. Somehow. But you really did have to wonder. How would he look with short hair again? Damn. Better not think about that anywhere, where bro could see you.

Throwing your legs carelessly over the edge of the couch, you get up and sloppily walk to your room, taking your shades off, tossing them on the nightstand and face planting onto the soft mattress. This was going to be a stressful school year, no doubt. As far as it seemed, John was perfect. Personality, appearance, actions, enough to make you fall on the floor, not that you ever would, or would ever admit it. You might have to check how much your heart weighs, because damn did you fall head over heels fast.

Now you got to thinking about hearts. They were pretty weird. Getting heavy with different emotions. Like, what's even up with that? When you're in love or when you're depressed. That was some pretty confusing shit if you've ever seen some. It was too early for all that sappy "What it's like to kiss them, hug them, date them" etc junk. Nah, but maybe just listen to his voice. That's something that wasn't too sappy, right? What did it matter? You wanted it, and by something you were unsure to name, you were gonna have it. Getting up, you rummaged through your lack-of-use drawer for a voice recorder. Yeah, that would suffice better than anything else you could find lying around.

"Crap." How exactly were you planning on getting sleep when you were do caught up in your Egbert thoughts? Obviously, you weren't. Plush rumps, plush rumps, plush rumps, plush rumps, Egbert rump, plush rumps, wait what was that you just thought? Well someone's screwed. Better try anyway, you think, crawling into bed. Burying your face into the pillow, you find it's actually easier than you thought. No sooner than you thought that were you fast asleep, dreams of his features inhabiting the body of Doritos, not that, that made any kind of sense whatsoever.

Yawning with a stretch, you realize you forgot pajamas. Smart move there cool guy. Goodbye plain red tee, hello red/white tee with the infamous turn table disk. Your signature shirt, and a clear amplifier of your charisma. Nobody could resist you in this, which would be perfect for trying to draw in a John. A John Egbert. Not any old John walking through the halls or down the street. Moving had to have been the best thing that had ever happened to you thus far.

Grabbing a piece of toast and throwing you backpack over your shoulder, a single sweep of your hand over your blonde locks, and you were out of there. Off to school. Off to impress. Off to obtain.


	2. Chapter 2

Yeah, it was rude. Maybe really rude. It's not like you were his only friend. But vice versa that, and there was the truth. The only problem was, as far as crushes and liking people went, vice versa it all again and there was the sad truth. You did feel a small pang of guilt when you grabbed his wrist and pulled him away from one of his guy friend and into the broom closet with you, but that was just it. Small. "Dave, what the hell man? Why are you taking me into…no. No. No. No. I will stay in here for the rest if my life if I have to." You placed your hands in your pockets looked him up an down.

His hair was cut now. It spiked out to the left from your perspective, it was dark and wispy, but it seemed lighter on the edges now because it branched closer to the light. Damn did it look soft. "Okay, Dave, stop it. That's not the plan. The plan is what you need to stick to." That's really all you can think to focus your thoughts. Thoughts of hair and rumps weren't going to help. Deep breath, this next thing took some courage to say. That and a level of cool, these were the required outer emotions that you had to maintain for this to go through as smoothly as it did in your imagination. Courage and cool.

"John…" You rub the back of your neck, but quickly realizing what you're doing, you throw your hand to your side. "I know it's only been a day, and you say you're not a homosexual…but, I want you to just try something." He looked scared. "Like…like what?" With a push of your glasses, you started to explain your proposition "I want to kiss you." He nodded, a frozen look "Only if it feels right, then maybe, would you think about dating me, and if it doesn't, then you don't have to, I'll stop hitting on you, and we can just be bros like everyone else." You looked at him, knowing your hope wasn't showing, but he should at least realize it was there. "I can't do it. I can't kiss you…" Tears streamed down his face and he sat there with his *small* hands closed into tight fists. "I don't see what's so fucking wrong with me kissing you. I'm trying to respect that you're not into dudes, so I put it as loose as possible and now you're crying? What the hell?" He wiped them away "It doesn't have to do with that…it's something-" he was cut off by a sharp sniff "Something totally different." He got up and pushed past you, leaving the closet, far from coming out.

Glancing at the clock as you went out, you realize it's once again time for class. And you weren't going to see John again until lunchtime. Math class was the worst. Science was more interesting though. Especially whenever it involved death things. You were into that kind of stuff. You were a few months in and the teacher was already tired of your shit. You can swear she even said so, unless that had just been another dream. Those could get pretty vivid. Leaving the class and on your way to the next, you see the friend you had drug John away from. "Hey guy!" You shout to him, and 3 people turn around. Picking up your pace a bit, you tap his shoulder and he turns around, forcing the others away. "Does John have a chumhandle? Or, do you even know what it is if he does?" He looked at you with a judging stare. "Why? You gonna hit on him some more where people can't see you? What a gay ass fag." Images of you snapping in a Z formation came to mind, but what you really wanted to say is exactly what you said "I'm straighter than the pole than the pole your mom dances on. Thank you very much."

Several kids looked at you with a mouth hung open in a gasp. "Oh shit dude!" But you knew all the kids would side with whoever won. Which, if you had this guy summed up right, wouldn't be you. You were just a bit too snarky sometimes. He wasn't taking your shit, and before you could even try to dodge, he punched you square in the face. The anime shades, ones identical to your bros, snapped right on the part that held the two together, and the sharp parts pierced into your skin, and the blood was already flowing. Holding the red sleeve up to your face to catch the blood from falling onto the white, you made your way to the nurses office.

"Dammit. It was just a question. He didn't have to start shit." The nurse walked over to the counter after inspecting your face "As well as that was, you didn't have to reply with any either. And please refrain from that language choice in my office Mr. Strider." She handed you a rag that you used to wipe your face and finally a band aid to place over the cut. "David, please don't get into anymore fights. You're not the strongest, far, far from it actually. Things will be hard, but being a snarky whatever you wish to call it, certainly will not be helping your case." With a nod of acknowledgment, you head to lunch late, where you find John sitting with the jerk. The jerk who looked back at you when John looked away, stink eye and all. "Yeah, yeah, fuck you to." you grumble sitting at the table, dropping your backpack down and pulling out a sandwich, Doritos and apple juice. Later, John got up and came over to you. Sitting down he opened not with a hello but with "Don't ask why I was crying earlier okay? I really don't want to talk about that." You shrug, eating a chip and swallowing. "Wasn't gonna ask but whatever." He seemed angry at that comment and it was true "You think I'm going to believe that? That you don't want to know why I didn't try to act cool in front of you? Why I started blubbering like some…some stupid baby?"

With a deep sigh and beyond your control, an eye roll, "You weren't blubbering, you were crying and it was a cute cry, second, you're not a stupid baby, you're an awesome friend, and I don't like people insulting my friends except me. I don't expect you to act cool in front of me, because, let's face it. You're a nerd. But you're a nerd I happen to like, so stop picking on my friend before I kick your ass, tough guy." His eyebrows flinched. John looked like he wanted to say something but the words wouldn't come out. "Cat got your tongue?" He looked away "More like Strider got my tongue." A small smirk formed on your lips. "No, you wouldn't let me take it. So, it's gotta be a cat if anything." He looked back, blushing a bit "Wha- no Dave, don't sat that. That's gross." He kept making you want to laugh, he needed to stop all this adorable shit right now. You both feel silent. There wasn't much to say anymore. The sensual tension growing.

You had to break this. The need to pull your hair out of your head was growing, almost as fast as how much more awkward everything was becoming. "I'll kiss you…but just not at school. That's just weird." You answered almost too quickly "Agreed." Again with the empty mouth opening. "Just a quick peck. I'm not going to bother with suggesting it go any further because that's even weirder." He nodded. "You're pretty cool Dave." He smiled "For a dork who wears shades." A blank stare was his only response. You finished your food and got up to throw the trash away. "So where then?" John thought "Are you allowed out at night?" It wasn't like it mattered. Even if you weren't you could always sneak out, it wasn't like it was the first time you've ever snuck out for a meeting, and you didn't hesitate to tell him so. "Wait…what kind of 'meetings' do you mean?" You shook your head a little "Friendship ones. I'm not that kind of guy."

He looked at you with a playfully doubtful look. "Oh shut up." Your tone was lighthearted and he laughed, not too soon after did you joined him, because, the whole thing was kind of funny in hindsight. "So, tonight. At the half way point between our houses, there's an alley we can meet in, and then we can kiss, and run back home before we get in trouble."

Lunch finished off a lot better than it had started and soon enough, seeing him again in 8th period, the day seemed to go by a lot faster than you would have thought when you had woken up this morning. John even decided to walk with you, which made walking home so much more enjoyable. As John kept talking, your hand slowly slipped into your pocket and your thumb crushed down on the recording button. Now the voice you longed to hear when you were at home, and your bro wasn't trying to fight with you, wouldn't seem so faint, because it'd be pretty clear to you when it came from a voice recorder. "So your dad…he doesn't really care for you all that much?" He seemed hesitant to answer "It's not that…it's more because I started to act like a little shit, and he was tired of dealing with me, so when I started to earn things back, then he'd give me those privileges, but to be honest…I'm kind of lazy, so I lost more than I've earned." There were tons of questions you could ask, but his house was coming into view, and the only reason you knew this was because he was pointing it out. "Yeah, it's pretty boring. But so is my dad, so I guess you can't expect much." With a small wave he ran up the steps and through the front door, leaving you to the rest of the walk.

Nine o' clock huh? That was it? Homework, which no one but nerd and maybe John, because he qualifies, would actually want to do. But then again he said he was lazy. Sitting at your desk and pulling out the recorder and your homework. Math was more enjoyable with John's voice talking to you, even if it was a repeat. And that's when the realization that time was against you came. It had only taken you an hour and there were a little under 5 hours more until the meet up. Now it was more just about blowing time, so might as well sleep. It's not like it wasn't something you usually did anyway.

Checking the clock, you actually felt your heart speed up. You were late. Pulling your shoes on quickly you hopped out the window and ran to the alley, crossing your fingers mentally and overall hoping to god he was still there. Rounding the corner and into the dark of said alley, you heard a gasp. "Dave?!" John was there. "I'm sorry I'm late. What a shit head huh?" You could barely catch him shaking his head "No, you're just kind of rude. I wouldn't go as far as you did." John stepped closer, you following with your own step after. Sheepishly, your lips met together. Your heart may as well have dropped dead weight and exploded into multi colored fireworks. Your chest was pounding, and it needed to stop, because that was weird. When he pulled away you were too impatient to wait and asked the biggest question "Did it feel…you know…" There was a sniffle. "Are you crying?" He sniffed again before replying "Yeah…I…it just didn't feel right. I'm sorry. It was so-" He choked up and finished "So wrong." Taking him by the hand, you led him out and gestured for him to go home. "It's okay. Just go. I'll leave you alone." You hoped you were the only one hearing the hurt in your voice. He broke free gently, because your grip was pretty loose to start, and sprinted home, and for the second time, you walked home by yourself. "Nice going Dave. This is the second time you've made him cry. Whatever that makes you, then you're the biggest one of all and I hope you're happy." How could you not scold yourself? You're the biggest fuck up of all time. Or at least you felt like it. "But I'm not happy…" You thought, crawling through the window and into bed, having stripped down to your boxers.

**If you got confused at the whole "Far from coming out" thing, that was because he never admitted being gay, and he didn't/couldn't kiss Dave. He just left. I hope that explanation makes sense...****If you think i forgot about his nose, you're wrong. It just wouldn't fit in anywhere after I read through and tried to put him noticing in. Other than the fact John'll notice in the next chapter, there's not much more I can say about it. *wink wonk* Going to start typing now.**


	3. Informational Text As To Plot

Alright, from here on out, my understanding and grasp on the knowledge of what's to come may slip up. I've read the information several times over, yet, even I get overwhelmed when I'm bombarded with big word after big word, not to mention all the complexity that comes with the topic. I'm still pretty young. I shouldn't be expected to understand every word that's typed out into the informational paragraphs provided. When you have words like "alimentary" and "coregistration" being thrown at you, even Google gets to be a bore to look through for a full understanding.

Now. If I do write something you know if almost utterly and so fouly wrong you cringe in the horror of it's being mentioned, and this being medical terms, then correct me however you wish. But, note that I've tried my best, I've looked through list after list of other things that could be used in alternation of this plot, and have already undergone a plot change, and am working on the third chapter as I type this. But, duh, I had to break, can't type two simultaneously.

If you can forgive anything that's wrong here, than I just mentally bow down before you, and many other things that show how thankful I am. It should be up sometime today or tomorrow, it just depends on how bad my attention span is. The other story, Witness Protection, that needs to be updated, and I'll have to work on that sometime, but most likely not until I finish this story. Sometimes multitasking can get out of hand for *guilty*…

I conclude with "thank you", and enjoy the story.


	4. Chapter 3

You eyed the phone. That little bastard made you so nervous. You had already looked up the number, lost the paper, looked it up again and memorized John's father's cell number. The only problem being too shy to call and ask to go over. Wow, nice 2 months and 4 days of friendship building you'd done. You were actually good friends. He left behind the douche when he realized how messed up your face had gotten from being punched. And when he first noticed, that was pretty sensual way to have touched your face. John's lightly sun touched hand, making its toward your face, barely grazing it. Such a gentle touch, and his hands were cool, a relief to the slightly swollen and heated skin around your eyes, one more reason your glasses were more important than ever. It was still a blush worthy moment for the both of you, and much to your dismay he recoiled his hand quite quickly. "Sorry, that was weird huh?" You nodded and just like that, the whole thing was dropped.

"Screw it." You picked up the phone and dialed the number. It rung a few times. Then a few more times, on what you assumed to be the last ring before it went to voicemail, a voice answered the phone "You're an unknown number. Why are you calling my cell phone?" The words were caught in your throat, and he didn't seem too happy. Clearing it, they spilled forward, perhaps a bit too fast. "I'm the friend of Egber- I mean John's. He's spent the night at my house that one night during spring break. Dave Strider." His tone softened a little "I should program this in then. So why were you calling?" There was no reason to stand up the whole times, so you plopped down into the computer chair "I wanted to know if it was okay if I went over there to see him. That's all." There was a loud crash from the other side of the line "Goodness, well, I'm not home at the moment, but I think it should be okay. There's a spare key under in the underside of the turtle on the porch. Just take it out and unlock the door, but before you leave, be sure to put it back, I'll be checking when I get home." You agreed to do as he instructed and told bro your were going over there.

As you walked up the front porch steps, you caught sight of the turtle almost immediately. Picking it up, you slid open the little compartment cover and pulled out a single silver key. With it in hand, you inserted it into the doorknob and turned until the click. It seemed like you should take everything gentle. Like how you turned the doorknob slowly, and firmly, and when you closed it, you didn't let it slam like at your house. It was a little loud, but it was mostly a muffled 'click' and then the door was shut and you were inside. Yeah, wow. Way to walk into a house when you had no idea what the interior layout was, and potentially getting lost. The only guide you had was semi-loud music coming from upstairs. The rails were shiny, his dad must be hella tighty for a shine that bright. The music was getting louder as you got closer, but so was the voice of who could only be John. His voice…okay, this needed to be recorded. You weren't going to do anything, you promised to yourself…but this was way too much. He was moaning and whining, calling out your name. "Ngh…f-fuck Dave! F-faster, please, oh god…" It was killing you. You had to see this. What did he look like right now? Was he the stripper kind? Or the kind that just popped the button, spread the legs and let 'er rip? Oh Jesus fuck, you looked down, how had you managed this far? You hadn't even started to get hard, thank whatever may be helping you in this part of your life.

He was getting louder too. "Dave, shit Dave, oh, ngh…" Damn his panting and repeated call of your name. It had to be done. And even if it didn't, a compelling force led you to open the door. He didn't even notice either! You could see him there. His face was red, it looked like he had a small layer of sweat, but no wonder, the guy was wanking up a storm! His face was contorted in ecstasy and his torso was supported by his pillows, his hand slipped into his pants, which were pulled down to reveal his junk, and that's when the size note was taken.

His head turned to the left (for John) side as one hand reached for the nightstand and the other finished him off, quickly John worked to clean it up, still panting to calm his breath. The rag was thrown under the bed and he pulled up the fabric to buttoned up his pants. "John I thought you said you weren't homosexual." His eyes got big behind his glasses as his head turned to the right to look at you. "Dave?! Holy shit! Did you just see that?!" You nodded a bit and he dug under, curling himself up in his big blanket, ready to just die. Now John was literally just a big ass blanket burrito and refused to come undone. "Just let me suffocate! I don't deserve to live anymore!" His voice was muffled and all you could do was laugh. Everything he was saying was incomprehensible. "Dude, I can't understand a word you're saying." You attempt to unroll him, but he's seemed like an incurable burrito boy.

"Egbert, get out of the blanket. There's some shit you have to tell me." John rolled over. You had tried to unwrap the wrong side…whoops. A small section of blanket moved out of the way, and his face was visible, John's glasses looking particularly big with such little room. "I'm sorry Dave…" His voice was almost an inaudible whisper. You used one hand to shoosh pap his head. "You don't have to be…actually, that was hot…but I thought you said you weren't like that." He was being shifty eyed and looking away. "I…actually, am. But…" He squirmed a little and sat up. "I kind of have some problems…and it's stupid. So I don't want to get close to a bunch of people if something actually happened. Because, sometimes they get really worried when you tell them you have seizures and then, if they become your friend or whatever…then they see you have these really bad migraines and they get so worried about you, but you kind of know you're going to be okay because you've lived with it for awhile and you know, but it's still epilepsy and there's so many ands Dave…there are just so many ands…" You wrapped your arms around your crying burrito friend. "John, when you love someone it shouldn't matter if they have problems. You should love them no matter what. Like those people with DS babies. Just because you're baby has some problems, doesn't mean you love your baby any less than a baby that's normal. Down Syndrome is serious shit. They can't help it. You might not have been able to either, but still."

John's eyes were blue and glittery "I've known you for like, 2 months now…and that's probably the only useful thing you've ever said. "Hey. That's not nice." He smiled weakly. "So, what is it? Like, exactly. What do you have exactly…?" You asked pulling him closer "Temporal Lobe Epilepsy. Just, tonic and then clonic seizures. With headaches and blank stares…" John wasn't tense anymore, he just sunk into your hug, but it was still a little funny he had to be head to toe in a blanket wrap. "So…you lied about the kiss then?" You could feel him nod. "I'm sorry. I just didn't want you to date me, not if you didn't know the truth. Do you even still want to date me?" He was looking up at you, big blue eyes, a hopeful expression and you took advantage of how smoochable he looked by pressing your lips together for the second time ever. "Can you come out of your burrito now? You look like a such a derp." He laughed and unwrapped. It seemed like everything was held closed from inside, that way only he could get himself out. "We are going to take this slow right?" Lines and boundaries, your rules, bro's rules, school's rules. "Yeah, better not to rush right?" John smiled and wrapped his arms around the small of your waist in a sideways hug. "We should make a list or something. Like, small kisses, kind of longer kisses, long kisses, and then make-outs."

Well he was fast at organizing. "Hand me that notepad from the nightstand." John reached over and handed it to you, giving you a pen as well, and you wrote down what he told you to. "Let me see." You handed it to him and he looked it over with a nod. "Your handwriting sucks Dave." You rolled your eyes "Whatever. I had one arm around you, why else would it be so bad?" John broke your grip and told you to rewrite it. "Here, now write like you mean it then." He handed you back the items and you rewrote them, showing off when you were done. "It's better." You smiled as if to laugh at him "But you still suck. How does your teacher even read this?" He was laughing at you "She probably doesn't. She just pulls out a stamper, and boosh, F. Next one." You had him rolling on the bed, laughing like crazy. "You're just doomed to fail, but it doesn't matter because you don't try very much, I've seen you in 8th period dude, you never pay attention."

When John's laughter died, you laid down next to him. "No, I did." He looked at you, "Just never to the teacher." You smiled at him "You were never really going to give up, were you?" You shook your head and pulled him closer. "Snuggles aren't on the list Dave." With a roll of the eyes, your arm let him go and you laid there staring at the ceiling. "Nah, you're too much everything right with the world." John squinted at you "What does that even mean?" How dense "It means I think you're perfect." He shook his head, closing his eyes "No I'm not, but thank you." but then he tried to scoot closer to you "Snuggles aren't on the list Egderp." He sighed really loud to show his discontent, but you weren't going to budge. If he wanted to play romance cop, you were going to show him you weren't a force to be reckoned with and could do the job just, if not more, easily than he could. "Do you have any videogames or something we could play?"

John started to move beside you and caught you totally off guard by laying across you, his stomach touching yours. "C'mon Daaaavvve! Just let me snuggle." he whined. Sitting up you forced him to roll over, and he landed in your lap. "John. You're 15, stop acting like this." He closed his eyes and stuck out his tongue. "Nhmm." You pushed your point finger onto his tongue and it recoiled from your touch "Eww! Gross Dave, what the heck?" John may have seemed grossed out, but his face was getting pink "Hey, just be happy I didn't touch your tongue with my tongue." Now noticeably more so "Yeah…heh, because no one would want that."

Outside the window the sun was starting to go down. "Crap, I got to get home before it gets too dark, what time is it?" He checked his watch "Fifteen 'till 9." You nudged him a little so he would get out of your lap. "I need to put this key back, and get home, I'm sorry I'm just leaving you like this, your dad's not even home yet." John glanced out the window "Yeah, that's kind of weird. It's okay. Don't sweat it, I'm cool here by myself." He was blushing, probably thinking about what you had walked in on. "Quick kiss goodbye?" He asked, a shy look on his face. It really was quick. Because, with only 15 minutes, and that time having gone down, to what could only be 10 minutes now, you had to hustle to get home.

John locked the door as you shoved the key back into the turtle and ran home, and you can swear, your feet barely hit the ground, clearly they had to, or else you wouldn't move any further forward, but you didn't feel it. Running up the steps, and through the door you burst into the apartment. Had you actually done it? You looked around nervously. No sign of bro…just one step, and he was right in front of you "You're a minute and a half late." Your foot stomped in anger "It's a minute and a half! Bro! Come one! Let me slide for once! Plus it's Saturday night, what's so goddamn important that I have to follow the curfew? I still have Sunday."

He stared down at you. You had a pretty good argument, but he was your legal guardian, if you were given a curfew you should follow it. He flicked your forehead and told you to scram, and you happily went to your room. It was a pretty easy guessing game if the question was "Who's going to sleep like a big, happy 15 year old baby tonight?"

**My perception of the story literally started falling apart near the end. I am so sorry. I kind of wanted to not leave off on an informational chapter because if you had Googled one of the words, the plot would have been given away...ahaha, that was a half assed laugh. I dunno, it's 6:44. I'm going to sleep. **


	5. Chapter 4

**I'm editing what I said, so yeah, sorry this took so long. (the bottom has more info if you already read the chapter)**

Your eyes flicked open. White ceiling. That's all you could see. But that just reminded you that you were now awake, when you would much rather be sleeping. Closing your eyes and rolling over, you covered your head with the blanket and let out a loud sigh of relief. Finally, that stupid white sunlight wasn't shining through your eyelids and you could probably go back to sleep if you were lazy enough. Your brain anyway.

"Dave?" A soft voice called. Almost like it was really afraid you might hurt it. You opened your eyes to find John, pretty close to your face. Not that you mind. He was the most adorable little shit you had ever met. "Yes?" He smiled. "Do you want to go shopping with me?" You sat up and looked around "What time is it?" John checked his watch "It's almost three. You really know how to sleep huh?" He laughed a little. "Yeah. To both. I'll go with you. Kind of like a first date or something." His face went pink "Dammit Dave, now I'm going to get all self conscious. Did you have to throw it in my face this early on?" Getting out of bed, you fished around in your clothes drawer "Dude, I have nothing to wear." He rolled his eyes "Everyone says that, but they always have something to wear." You scooted over so he could join you, and he looked through. "Dude, you have nothing to wear." He looked at you "How is that even possible?" You shrugged and he stared at the drawer in horror. "I think I need to do laundry." John nodded slowly.

"There's my pants from yesterday…and I think I could…bleh, try to wear one of these shirts, but I'm not going to like it." You took a shirt from the drawer, one of the ones that wasn't a total monstrosity and went to retrieve your black pants. "Eww." You turned around to the sound of him being childish "What?" John pointed to the pants "Just put your clothes on. I just noticed you sleep in your boxers, that's gross dude." You laughed and rolled your eyes, pulling on your clothes "How old are you? You act like a 10 year old." he started to defend himself when you started putting your aviators on. "Wha- hey! I don't act like I'm 10! I act like my age, which is 15, and if I'm such a 10 year old that makes you like a pedophile or something because a 15 year old guy having a crush on, and dating a 10 year old must have something to do with that."

You threw your arm around his neck and put some weight on him "John." He groaned "What?" You smiled down at him "Shut the fuck up." You started outside, him following suit. "So, what's up? Where're we going?" John slipped his hand in yours "The mall. I don't know if any of the smaller stores have what I'm looking for, so I'm not going to waste my time." You couldn't help but smirk at what you were thinking, so might as well say it "No time with me is wasted time. As long as I'm here, you're good I think." John looked at you, he looked a little concerned, more overly confused "Dave…what did that have to do with anything?" You shrugged. "Just me bragging. How long until we get there?" John's eyes went wide "Don't you eve-" You cut him "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" He tried to put a hand over your mouth "Dave! Shut-" You slapped his hand away "Are we there yet? Hey John, John, John, are we there yet?" He was forcing a glare, but he couldn't stay mad for long, and everyone stared as you walked down the street, John leaning on your shoulder and laughing like a lunatic while you were being an annoying little shit, asking if you were there yet, slapping your knee and barely making any movement forward.

John wiped at his eyes, lifting his glasses and letting them drop back down as he took his hand away. "Okay, I think…I think I'm done laughing now." He was breathing pretty heavy from all the laughing "Yeah, me too." You agreed, removing his hand from your shoulder. He put it back, and kept it there as you walked to the mall. "Are people always going to look at us?" He asked as both of you walked through the doors. "Two hot bros like us walking down the street, radiating out good looks and being together? Hell yes they are. Maybe not always in a good way, but what does it matter? We're together and we love each other and that should be all there is to it."

John's hand was taken off and the cold air from inside the building made a chill there, his warmth leaving. "We got to go to the accessory store. Okay Dave?" You nodded in response, but you had an idea for sidetracking and fun. John took your hand and led you forward. Well that was convenient for side tracking. John led you forward, easily moving through the mass of people, but you…not so much. When men bigger than you, in many ways, would walk close enough, they'd bump your shoulder and you'd jerk into another direction, with a wobbly John getting hit to the side as well. "Dave, can you stop trying to walk away?" You growled in response.

Just on front of you was a mattress store. Taking advantage of the hand he was holding, you led him with it into the store and out of the crowd. "The mattress store? Why?" He asked as he was forcefully taken inside. "The crowd keeps bumping me, and you think I'm taking you away. Plus, think of all the fun we can have in here." John looked around "In a mattress store…what are you saying?" You roll your eyes "I'm saying I'm gonna push you on a bed and run away laughing." And with that, you pushed him onto the nearest bed and a little faster than walked away.

"Daaaaaavvve!" John quickly came after you "Dude1 You're not even laughing!" Turning around, the smile on your face was visible to him and he smiled back "Are to, fuck you very much." He chased you out the exit and back into the slightly less full halls of the mall. "Let's go to the accessory store now, I'm bored." John pushed you playfully "What a dumbass." Grabbing his hand and pushing it against his back, you led him there "Why do you have me in an arm lock?" With a shrug you found the store with your eyes and led him inside "I dunno. Because you're adorable when you can't move and complain like a little kid." John tried to kick your leg by kicking back, but he missed. "Fuck you. I don't complain."

Once inside, you let him go and he ran over to the sunglasses, looking through. "As expected." He turned it around and looked through some more. "Whatcha lookin' for?" John picked up a pair "Close your eyes." Obeying, he slid yours off and slid the others on. "Those don't look good at all. Eww." He took them off. "At least let me be the judge of that. I wouldn't trust you much, your style's a little dorky." You put the others back on, and once your eyes were open you see John, standing there with his arms crossed, a pout face, and glasses in hand. "At least I have stuff to wear, and do my laundry." He turned back to the rows of black shades.

"But dorky looks good on you, so what should it matter?" John blushed a little "Oh, thanks. I guess it shouldn't…" He smiled. "Here, just let me help you. I think you're being too picky about this." As you started to help him, he laughed out loud. "Here! Put these on!" He did not just hand you Hello Kitty glasses. "The ironic possibilities bro." Slipping them on, you looked in the mirror "Hell fucking yes. Do you know how jealous bro would be if he saw me in these? We are getting these. Not for everyday, but just for bro reasons." he gave you a weird look. Why wouldn't he? He didn't understand irony like you did, but he accepted it.

"Sick pair of aviators though." He followed your gaze. "You're right." He tiptoed to reach them "Try them out?" He handed them to you "Fuck yeah I am." A mother toting around her six year old scorned you for your language "Don't bring your kids to the mall then lady." With a "Humph." she made her way to the counter and purchased her things and leaving. John watched her leave "I don't think she could have helped bringing her kid to the mall. Plus she's older than us, so maybe she thinks you shouldn't talk like that." With the glasses on, you checked in the mirror, entertaining the conversation "Whaddya mean? You cuss too sometimes. Plus the shit ton of 13 year olds out there. At least we're 15."

Going up to the counter Dave pulled out his wallet and paid for the glasses. "So what are you planning to do with the other ones?" John asked once you were outside and heading towards his house. "Wrap them in something small and out them a junk drawer. At least they'll be safe there. I mean, childhood mementos and shit. Gotta keep this safe right?" John smiled and enveloped your arms in a hug. "Totally. Quality keeps right there." Looking down at him, you couldn't help but smile. Definitely something that had become more frequent after all the mental strain you had gone through for 2 months, waiting for him to accept you, like you back, or something.

"It's pretty dark out now huh?" He asked, an almost unnoticeable nervousness to his voice. "Yeah, I guess." He didn't say anything for a long time, until you were close to his house. "Why don't you…uh…spend the night? It's not safe for you to walk home alone in the dark, especially when you still don't know this place too well." He was blushing, but it was understandable, you knew what he was doing here. "Wouldn't want to get kidnapped or something, but some idiot pedo with a beer belly, I see where you're coming from." he jumped like a chihuahua or something when you caught on "Exactly!" Still hugging your arm, he led you to the door and unlocked it, leading the two of you inside, a huge smile on his face.

**I'm also sorry that the next chapter is taking so long. I have a massive case of writers block, and I'm just...ugh, you know?**


	6. Chapter 5

_A/N: Struggled with the essy m's == weird saying for smutty smoos, which basically, yeah, smut, but I got it? Those days when smuts were called lemons. Eye opening huh? So, I had prewritten the next chapter, but, like I said, medical shit got in the way of the main plan for that, and I don't have the thing I wrote all the words in, so I have to rewrite it. I **think **the haitus is pretty much over. I don't know. I'm gonna be as fast as I can, the writers block [deep breathing] I can feel it lifting, oh yes. ANYWAY- on with the sadly, short chapter. _

* * *

_**John's P.O.V **_

Your face was just so hot right now and Dave probably knew, but he might not know, but he was the reason behind it all and if he should know, you were sure he should, but you didn't want him to. What would he say when he saw your face pathetically pink and your eyes glimmering like some 3 year old staring at something totally knew to them? He would laugh, he wouldn't even say anything, he just plain out laugh at you, that's what. And having your boyfriend laugh at you was not a fun thing to think about, unless it was because you were doing something worth laughs. Which you were quite sure, thisdid _not_ account for.

"Are you thirsty?"

You realized you were kind of just dragging him through the house. "Uh, sorry." he laughed a little and you shuffled to the kitchen, not even caring if he answered or not, you were the one thirsty. Everything had been fine, and now suddenly your mouth was dry and you were _so nervous_!

Splashing (as the water could get) cold water on your face, and getting some to drink, you gulped it down and headed back over to Dave who waited at the bottom of the stairs. "What? You didn't get me anything?" He laughed. "Do you want something?" He shook his head and took your hand as you walked up the stairs together.

"You don't have to be so nervous." You looked away. Sure you did. Your mind was racing with one thought, and it was embarrassing. Plus, now it would mean something, and then all the thoughts of something going wrong. Something, just so stupid, like having a seizure, falling off the bed and dying or something. Fuck, did you _not _want to die.

Into your bedroom and what should have been a chill environment. Dave plopped down in your computer chair while you sat on the edge of your bed, twiddling your thumbs here and there when he wasn't looking, which wasn't often. He just looked at you with interest, like he was trying to understand what you could possibly thinking about everything when you had been the on to invite him over in the first place.

"What's wrong with you?"

He was hunched over, staring you right in the eyes.

"Nothing…"

With a groan, he leaned back in the chair "Duuuuuude! You're so lying to me, and that's more annoying than anything, just tell me what's up."

Getting up, you walked over to him slowly, eyes narrowed. One hand on each arm rest, his chest was between you arms and you looked him plain in the eyes. "I want to kiss you, but now it's going to mean something, and I'm scared, that's all. Of course now you're being a little shit about it." Dave's lips quivered a bit as his face turned a light pink, "It's not that hard, you just lean in, and…yeah."

Your eyes rolled a little. As if you didn't know how to kiss, and just to prove it to him you leaned in and kissed him, a time framing longer than short, but shorter than long.

Pulling away, your face was even hotter than before.

Dave kissed your cheek "You let me take your lips, and then we got together. Heh." You turned your head a little so the next kissed landed on your lips and then from there things only escalated.

He raised an eyebrow at you. "So lip-lock, swiveling tongues and us taking turns topping in a makeout isn't enough?"

By this time, the two of you had switched over to the bed, since the chair creaked as he shifted every so often.

Well shit. Hormones. You blame hormones. There was nothing else to blame without blaming it on yourself. It was all hormones. Okay, yeah, not the _best _excuse for why your hand was under your boyfriend's shirt and why you were currently in a conversation about if you would be doing the dirty tonight, a conversation, you were pretty highly expected to reply to.

Of course your brain didn't seem to be working on a reply, it was thinking, not of words that could be formed into good verbal sentences, but having him pushing you against the pillows, hard core makeouts (more so than now) and both of you getting as pleasured as possible before you probably fell off the bed and went to sleep. Good plan. Awkward plan, but good plan nonetheless.

"No. Yes? I don't know…" You glanced at his shirt and slid your hand up further. "Just take the goddamn thing off already." He didn't look angry, or even sound it, his voice was neutral the whole time, but you know he was really ready to do this. Reaching up, you used your other hand to take his shirt off fully and tossed it on the floor.

Yours was off soon after and discarded alongside his while his hands traced down your now bare chest to the button of your pants and you your face flushed as you stared at it. His other hand gently pushed your head up to look him in the eyes. "You're sure?"

Taking his glasses off, you nodded and smiled a little.

His fingers smoothly undid the metal button from the fabric loop and unzipped them rather quickly too, but the whole situation was getting more and more awkward the more naked you got, especially when it was the both of you in your socks and boxers on the bed and he switched positions so that you were under _him _now.

He touched you lightly through your boxers and your you felt your breath hitch in your throat, leaving him with a smirk.

You slowly let it go as he pulled down your boxers and traced his fingertips down your half hard shaft, but it seemed like your body wasn't ready for it and your leg twitched, kneeing him in the side and he hissed as you winced away in embarrassment. "Shit, sorry Dave, I-" He waved you off "It's…fine, just…" He leaned in to kiss you, but your noses hit one another and only after a minute of recovery, you regained yourselves and kissed properly, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulled him further on top of you.

When you broke the kiss, to trail some down his neck, burst out laughing and rolled off of you onto the floor and stayed their, just laughing his ass off on the floor. "Dude! We are so not cut out for sexy times!" You were on the bed laughing at him for falling off and he was laughing at everything. "You- oh my god- did you just call it sexy times, what the fuck!"

When their laughing died down, you joined him on the floor and pulled the blanket down on top of you both. "We're idiots." The words were just a whisper as you played with his hair. "I never would have guessed, thank you for your assistance, Captain Obvious."

You stuck your tongue out at him "Yeah, well Captain Obvious here to tell you we probably need to put clothes on before my dad walks in to check on me or something. He gets home in few minutes anyway."

Dave got up and pulled his pants and shirt back on and smiled at you, shades still off. "You're spending the night still, right?" Even you could hear the hope in your voice. "Of course. I'm not gonna almost sleep with my boyfriend and leave him here alone."

Pulling your shirt over your head, now redressed and ready to fall asleep, you crawled into the bed with him and laid your head on his chest as he stroked your hair.

Dave ended up falling asleep shortly after, and you sat up a bit to place a gentle kiss on his forehead before laying back down and closing your eyes.

* * *

_A/N: The world needed more awkward sexies. Although, originally, this was gonna be some kinky shit. But I'm saving that for later.  
_


	7. Chapter 6

_(A/N: Pfftttt all these P.O.V changes. . .)_

* * *

**Dave:**

Things were much more comfortable, now that you had time to adjust to all the stupid couple things that were involved with well…being a couple.

The only thing not comfortable, was all the silence in your house. The silence your house was _constantly _full of.

Picking up your iphone and pushing the 2 button, it started to ring. Once, twice, cancelled? "What the -" Missed the call, that was understandable, just wait a bit and call back, chat, talk, whatever. Cancelled. Now that was a whole 'nother ball game.

The whole thing was a bit suspicious in a way, so you took another try and it happened again. Something told you to try one last time. You don't know what, and you had a second thought about it, but this was one strong ass force, and thus, you called for a third time.

The only trouble was, the 'welcome' you got was _far _from welcoming. "Dave come on! STOP CALLING! YOU TALK TOO MUCH AND I'M NEVER GOING TO HEAR THE END OF IT IF I BE NICE TO YOU. THIS HEADACHE IS THE PITS, JUST UGH!"

And just like that, he hung up.

Your heart tightened in your chest and you fell over onto your side. For once, you had no idea what to say, but plenty to do.

* * *

**John:**

Damn it Dave. If only he wasn't so persistent all the time, maybe you wouldn't have had to be such a jerk.

Okay, yeah, that was understatement. Maybe you wouldn't have had to be such an asshole. There we go.

Maybe an overstatement, but they were your description choices and I you deemed yourself an asshole, so that's all there was to it, besides apologies.

You could hear a sudden knocking "Dad! Get the fucking door!" The knocking stopped. "Language John!" You rolled over "Sorry!" The pillow suppressed this awful throbbing, but your brain pounded against your skill was still no party.

"Sorry it took me so long but I kind of suck at making decisions and there were a lot of things to choose from…" The door clicked shut, followed by the sound of a jostling plastic bag. His voice was soft. He must not have meant to knock so loud, it might have just happened. "I would've brought Tylenol, but apparently that could make you go into a seizure and I don't want that, so I just brought little donuts and soda…"

You couldn't help but laugh and smile at him "Little donuts…" He smile sighed with relief and set the bag down to prevent any further noise.

"I'm sorry I called so much, but you should really pester me next time so I don't piss you off and look like some clingy dumbass…you're makin' me look like my brother here." You raised an eyebrow at him. "We'll talk about that another day."

You scooted over and motioned for him to join you. Putting an arm around your neck and letting your head rest on his shoulder, Dave's fingers began to stroke your hair. "Your hair is even more fucked up than usual. What have you been doing all day?" You stared at the hand he had on your thigh.

"Suffering and trying to sleep." A loud yawn escaped your lips and Dave chuckled. "Close your eyes." Obeying, your room went from colorful to dark.

"I'm sorry I was such an asshole earlier. Then you came over being so nice…I kinda want to cry…but now I'm too tired."

Dave's hand kept stroking your hair. "Hey, feel free to fall asleep like this. No arguments on my end." You snuggled closer "Well good, 'cause that's exactly what's happening."

* * *

**Dave:**

The last thing you remember was kissing his forehead as he fell asleep and falling asleep a bit after him. When you woke up, you patted your chest. Wait, that wasn't right. You were supposed to be patting, soft and oh-so-messy head of John Egbert, why was your hand making contact with the warm fabric of your shirt?

Sitting up quickly, you spotted him sitting in his computer chair, staring blankly out the window. "Hey Egderp." He looked over as a tear fell onto his lap "Hey Dave."

Did he still have a headache? Did he have a seizure or something while you were sleeping? Also, why was he crying? "John?"

He smiled a little bit, but it feel with the next tear. "It's really stupid…you're gonna say so too when I tell you…because when you breakup with someone-" Breakup? _Breakup? _As in, the two of you? "Whoa, wait, breakup, why?"

Despite being more worried than anything, you realized your face might give off the impression you were mad. "I'm scared that….that you're gonna-" he sniffed and took off his glasses to wipe his eyes. "Get stressed out and worried.."

With a heavy heart you started to speak "Dating someone is like half way marrying them. I signed up for whatever emotional shit I go through and not helping you would make me seem like a giant douche who just wanted you for your bod or something. I care and that's why if I worry, I'm gonna worry. If you break up with me, what's that going to even do? Huh John? If I do get stressed or worried, it's only going to magnify if you don't answer my calls, don't hang out with me, whatever, because I care about you. I'm at home all the time with my bro, my house is quiet and we never talk to each other and then I got with you and I don't want to just give that up."

He was crying even more now, body wracking with sobs. Quickly getting off the bed, you enveloped him in a strong embrace. "I'm sorry I just…" Your hands made small circles in his back "I know, I get it but you gotta stop…"

There was a big wet spot on your shirt, but it was worth it. "Don't do anything crazy or stupid." His lips curled into a smile. "I won't." and you smiled back at him.

If you could, you would have, because you really wanted to, spent the night, but there was school the next day and you didn't have clothes to change into.

John gave you one last hug before you were in your way home. Only, his dad stopped you on your way down the porch steps "I can't say I approve, because I just found out, but as far as I know, you're a good boyfriend, now get home before it's too late."


End file.
